One of my coaches once challenged my un-excitement or even boredom that I explained experiencing throughout my life.
Whether that lack of excitement was shortly after I started at a new job, got a promotion, living abroad, a new relationship or trying a new skill.
Somewhere rather soon, I started to lose interest and feel as if I was stuck, robbed from my perceived safety and security blanket to be free and just be me and enjoy life the way I wanted to.
When challenged by my coach what was behind that, I had the eye opening moment. I realized that for some of that boredom and lack of excitement it was because I had been living my whole life in stress mode, “freeze-fight-flight or fawn” mode….my survival mode.
In order to feel “normal” I needed a certain amount of stress, fear and depression.
As soon as things seemed safe, loving, calm, easy, regular, structured, organized or anything of that nature, I started to (unconsciously) resist and look for ways to shake things up, so I could go back to my comfort zone.
A comfort zone that was not serving me at all, yet I did not know any better. My whole life I had been living in that state, the state of surviving. Always braced for any danger that might come my way.
I soon realized this was not the way I wanted to continue living, it was surviving, not true living. And so I worked on making that change so I could Thrive.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Did you have a “a-ha moment”, is this you? Or is this how you used to be too? What helped you make that shift?