The Pursuit of Happiness

What does that actually mean? And how are you supposed to go about it.

If you read my last Blog post you will know that I hit another rough patch. I have been working on my healing, mental health and building up my life to fit my desires and live a life that serves my highest and truest self for as long as I can remember. And in many different ways so. I have done this with the help of therapists, learning about life itself and doing inner and outer work. It has been a whole roller coaster and I have made good progress.

However, this current set back naturally made me doubt my work, my capabilities and myself. I even voiced to several close friends that I got afraid of not being able to “make it”…

That set back really rattled me. It felt as if I was back at the beginning of this journey…back in the trenches.

Because all I wanted was to reach that state of happiness. That was why I was putting in so much work, every single day.

But how realistic is that? And this question reminded me of something I came across on my studies a while back. And it was that happiness is not a destination. Our lives are made up of moments. And just like sad and rough moments come and go, so do moments of joy and happiness.

From the outside world it seemed as if happiness was this sacred club that you had to join. And once you were in you would be settled for life. A club where if you were not able to play by their set rules, you only got to enviously get a glimpse of what belonging to it would look like.

Certainly social media nowadays with its 2D and 3D portrail of what seems like a competition towards ultimate happiness does not contribute in a positive way. And this is just my straight forward opinion. As rarely anybody shares their vulnerable side with its ugly truths. ‘Cause surely that’s not what you are meant to show….

All this made me ask myself: “Kay, is what you are after, really what you need?”. “Are you not expecting too much of this 9 letter word?”. “Instead of seeing happiness as some kind of end all be all, is it possible to switch it up to this 11 letter word and relax, flow and aim for contentment?”

This literarily removed pressure from my chest and allowed me to breath in and exhale a little deeper. I am doing the best I can. I am working hard. And in this I lay my trust and surrender into contentment from this day forward.

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