I see all that I am as a blessing. Flaws and all. After all those years, I can say with true conviction, I am happy in my current situation. I’ve learned that nothing else matters than the here and now. I am working on myself, making me happy. Without distractions, getting to know me, what I want and have to offer.
All that I have been through made me into this beautiful blessed woman that I am today. And still every now and then, my insecurity creeps in on me and lets me feed my FuckedUpness. I naturally have some extra special weirdness in my mind and heart. But that is just me being silly crazy, fun and more lovable. This FuckedUpness is me doubting my worthiness, letting all that happened work me in a negative way, feeling that I am too FuckedUp to ever built a healthy, positive and constructive connection with a man. Treasuring a relationship of being best friends. Being great individuals together and an even greater team apart. Being able to feed and please each others body, mind and soul. Not being afraid to challenge each other, and thus always striving to be better and stronger.
This feeling shall pass. I believe that something greater awaits me. When the time is right, I will meet this Mister Right.