Rock Bottom

Wow…have I hit that place many times in my life. Not always the same bottom or even the same depth, but every once in a while this bottom appeared as a long lost friend. One I’d rather not see nor wish for. But as I have learned, one that seemed quite effective in my journey. As they say, once you hit Rock Bottom, the only way to go is up…well, that is easier said than done. At times I felt as if there was no where to go, not forward, backward, nor down, let alone up!

When you are used to visit those low points, they become familiar, maybe even comfortable. Not in a good way though. The will to get yourself up and going again doesn’t feel as appealing as that miserable dark hole that you’ve made your home. Why bother? Not really hurting anyone. Just yourself and in a sad way you even feel sorry for yourself. And even enjoying that sad horrible feeling, cause you think that is what you deserve…

After the whole first period in your new home and even having held a housewarming party, you start to wonder if this suffocating yourself in darkness is really the way to go. It didn’t really serve anything positive or productive. The desire to challenge yourself in doing better and knowing better arises. That so called old friend Rock Bottom needs to be kicked to the curb! Like a true Phoenix you arise and tackle whatever issue that reunited you with Rock Bottom. When solved it can be noted as a lesson learned.

No shame here, we will meet again buddy. Might be less intense but with every encounter a reward is given after we part. Another lesson learned and insight in my inner strength is given. This keeps me going and less and less feared for meeting again…


A forty years young African woman. Being the truest and highest expression of self is my daily goal.

Leave a Reply